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Nickminus

693d

Hey y’all, hope everyone is doing okay. I used to be such a physically affectionate and touchy person; that’s how I communicate, yeah? I was really outgoing - that kid who could make friends with anyone I was in the same room as for more than three minutes. And I was very cuddly and physical with everyone I considered a friend - hugs, fist bumps, pats on the shoulder, you name it. That’s how I feel connected to people around me and how I show my affection. But after what happened…I can’t. Like, when someone touches me now - a tap on the shoulder, a hand on my back, a brush against my arm - I can’t handle it. I’ve had panic attacks, and I can’t breathe and it takes me a long time to calm down depending on how badly I felt violated. It’s disrupting school, it’s hurting my mental health, and it’s hindering my healing process. And the problem is the more time passes the worse it gets. I feel trapped. My best friend can’t touch me anymore, my family makes me uncomfortable, kids at school hurt. My skin crawls and I feel sick just thinking about it. It hurts when people touch me. Now it’s changing how I am - now I’m introverted and reclusive. I’ve stopped touching people myself so that people don’t think it’s okay to touch me, and I give myself space in the halls, and I’m a lot more strict about people crossing that boundary now. But as someone who finds (or used to find) comfort in physical touch, I feel so lost and alone now. Everyone is so far away and I feel disconnected. Has anyone else experienced this? I’ve started trying to fix it by like…hugging three people a day, and trying to find ways to calm down after that freaks me out. To establish control over something uncontrollable lol and my therapist suggested that because of my experiences that make me distrust the people around me, maybe I need to find a way to rebuild that emotional connection to people that I’ve lost, before I can go back to that physical one, but I don’t know how to do that. Does anyone have any insight on how to overcome this? I won’t make it if this is the new permanent thing, and I’m so lost and scared by this. I just want to feel safe in myself again

Top reply
    • Reya

      693d

      It's not as severe, but I've been through the same thing. It helped me a lot to find just one person that I trusted enough that their touch didn't make my skin crawl, and also having something else to touch my skin that was a good texture (fluffy blanket, nicely textured fidget you, a stuffed animal, ect.)

    • eathen

      693d

      👍 I'm glad u shared with me

    • Reya

      693d

      It's not as severe, but I've been through the same thing. It helped me a lot to find just one person that I trusted enough that their touch didn't make my skin crawl, and also having something else to touch my skin that was a good texture (fluffy blanket, nicely textured fidget you, a stuffed animal, ect.)

      • Nickminus

        693d

        @Reya oh my god you have no idea how helpful and relieving that is to hear. I have a friend I trust who is the only person I can touch, though recently things got rough between us. I think I’m going to try the nice texture thing - I got a new jacket that has that new jacket softness inside and every time I wear that around I get lost petting it 😂 thank you so much man, that’s helpful. I hope things are going alright for you and that things are progressing in a good way for you

    • eathen

      693d

      I'm so happy to find someone like me

      • Nickminus

        693d

        @eathen you’re experiencing something similar??

    • eathen

      693d

      Hi

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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