I'm sorry you feel that you are feeling this way. I've been there made so many bad decisions, I wish I could go back and change things. It is normal to have that want. We all want some affection from someone and when you aren't in a relationship you seek it. One thing I learned took a lot of time but loving myself and the life I have is importation when you want someone to love you otherwise it's yeah they love your body but it brings you down too. I hope you can love yourself.

That’s a regular Friday night for me lol

Been there, done that. It's not what it's cracked up to be. I'm gonna be that semi old soul (at 27) and say, just wait. You'll appreciate it. I was so desperate at 18 to be desirable, I didn't care anymore but I regretted it and still do to this day. The thing is though, you are desirable. Everyone is in their own unique ways whether it's personality, heart or body. And if a 29 year old is sitting there playing off your vulnerable state of mind and desperation then they're a creep and grooming you. They need to seek help, not you. Hoping for the best. We need to love oursevles before we can let someone else love us and yes, that is extremely hard. But don't give into some weirdo just for some quick validation. You're worth so much more as a person. ❤️

Try working on yourself (no rush or deadline and at your own pace & progress isn’t linear), get a therapist if you can, talking to friends, join a activity or community involved in a shared hobby, medication, affirmations, being gentle and understanding of yourself, date yourself. Try to learn about yourself and what makes you happy and do things for you! Pleasure yourself. Really get to know yourself and what gives you joy.

Do what makes you feel good about yourself. You don't need to change yourself or anything like that unless it's just for YOU. You should never do it for somebody else.