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jipperoni

427d

I despise the saying of “they’ll start changing when they’re ready, there is nothing you can do for them” when it comes to mental illness. It’s true, I’m not discounting the validity of the statement. I’m instead discounting the attitude it creates for those around people who have mental illnesses. I’ve been wanting to change for 4 years. I started taking meds, I went to therapy, I ended up in the psych ward twice. I’ve done everything they’ve told me to do to the best of my ability, but it’s not like I’m able to flip a switch that will turn off how I’m feeling. I would’ve flipped it years ago if it existed, but I’m still struggling through my mental illnesses today. Every mental health professional I’ve talked to has called healing a “journey”, so why is there a saying that promotes leaving people who have mental illness to their own devices on this journey? More than anything, we need that support to make it through our “journey”. Maybe it’s a journey of self-isolating enough to where some day you’ll finally come out of your chrysalis, but you always get people saying, “But self-isolating is bad”. So are we supposed to somehow have help? Are we supposed to be that help on our journey? Why is there an attitude of “There is nothing we can do for them, we just have to wait for them to change on their own” to something that needs a support system in order to help? Maybe I’m just reading the quote the wrong way, but whenever people say it, it makes me mad. And maybe that attitude from me against that quote comes from how multiple people have used that quote as a goodbye in our friendship, but that’s beside the point. Yes, we have to want to change on our own part first, but stand by me while I’m making these changes. Please.

    • AnimalBoy

      427d

      I always assumed that saying only applies to people who aren't looking for help or have purposely stopped recieving help at a detriment to the relationship. And even then I never interpreted it as only having one consequence, I always assumed that meant to reevaluate your boundaries with the person to what works. I hope you find some support soon

      • jipperoni

        427d

        @AnimalBoy That’s what I thought it meant at first, so maybe my view of it is just skewed by my personal experience. I just don’t understand how the re-evaluation of one’s boundaries can go from hanging out all the time to we can’t be friends anymore due to stuff someone’s working through. And I was actively getting help and seeking more help as this happened. Brain’s all funky this morning. No bueno. Thanks for your response though :)

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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