Mixed Emotions About Brother's Visit

My older brother came over to visit today which is good, but I always have mixed emotions about it. I thought he’d be coming on his own so that we could spend quality family time together, but he brought his friend along. I mean it’s fine, his friend is nice, but I wanted to spend some time with my brother, not watch my brother spend time with his friend at my house. He moved out when he was 17, so he’s missed a lot of my childhood which always eats me up. I mean he did it to escape our abusive step mother, but I always have the feeling of he just abandoned us and saved only himself. I don’t see him often at all, so anytime I’m around him I just want to cry. I never got to spend real quality time with him, so whenever I see him, all those years of emotions and missing him come flooding back and all I want to do is cry. I hate it, I just want to have fun with him but I feel like I can’t because all I want to do it go into the other room and cry. Has anyone else ever dealt with something similar to this? I don’t know how to stop these emotions, I just want to try and have a fun day with my brother if possible.