Feeling Left Behind by High School Friends

i know exactly how you feel, im in the same spot myself. you have to give yourself space and acknowledge that yeah, okay, i may be a bit behind my peers, but thats because im finding myself, and thats whats most important. i just recently attended the wedding of my best friend since the age of 7-8. and she has this wonderful husband, a great network of friends and family, so much confidence in here world... and I showed up to that wedding with my mobility aid, alone because i barely even have any friends. but even people who look like they have it together really dont. my friend just discovered a serious health issue that shes learning to live with, shes considering dropping out (or taking a break) because shes struggling and doesnt know what she wants. my mom is 51 and is just now figuring out what she wants after a bad marriage; she just graduated college a few years ago. my sister still lives with her at 23 because she doesnt know what she wants, either. my cousin is almost 30 and lives with our grandparents because he still hasnt got it figured out. i guess what im trying to say is that even when you feel like youre behind because everybody else has it together, nobody REALLY knows what theyre doing. some people look like it, and sometimes they can even convince themselves, but it takes sooooo long to really find yourself and your place in the world. ESPECIALLY when youve gone through trauma almost all your life, you get put even farther back. like everybody else got a head start in the race while you picked yourself up after tripping in the dirt. there is no shame in being behind. despite what society says, you dont have to have your life figured out by 20, or 30, or even 60. you will find your own way in due time, and the people that matter will help you when you trip in the dirt.

I kinda feel the same sometimes. But I know that at that time, doing what I want to do now wouldn't have made me happy at the time. Now I wish I was more social, but in high school, being more social would cause so much anxiety and it would make me sad not happy.