lazydaisy

75d

How soon should you wait to tell your partner about your mental health struggles/diagnosis? I’m currently talking to someone and wish i could explain what’s really going on with me sometimes. But i don’t want to scare them away or worse, have things end badly and them spread it around. Although they don’t seem like that kind of person. Any advice helps, i feel like i’m not able to be myself and they must think i’m boring or losing interest when really i have depression episodes and panic attacks… any advice?

Gastritis, Duodenitis (Not Infectious)

Acute Anxiety

Depression

Duloxetine

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Diabetes Type 2 (T2D)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

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  • srea

    74d

    I was always scared of this… I had a policy of waiting until at least the second or third date. Experience the first date to see if there is even a good vibe, then trust them with the info if you feel comfortable. But honestly, it’s hard to feel comfortable. With my current girlfriend, we spilled the health issues fairly upfront, not exactly first date, but while becoming friends.

  • CaramelMixedHoney

    74d

    I honestly think the earlier the better. I don't believe in waiting for a good moment to talk about things especially when dating someone or talking to someone. You save way more time when you talk about things upfront. If it's too much for them to be with you because of something real you deal with, at least you know now.

  • CaramelMixedHoney

    74d

    My favorite podcasted actually talked about this and it really helped me in the dating department. I have diabetes, depression, colitis and anxiety and so on and so on and my favorite podcaster helped me realize that the more upfront we are about what we deal with the more time we save and the sooner we can meet someone who actually gets it and can be a support to me.

    • srea

      74d

      true! And I just remembered I used to do a sort of test before I’d bring it up, to see what they thought about people with chronic illness in general. What were their opinions on healthcare laws (should it be free)? Mental illness (does it even exist)? With those two, you can find out a lot. And my ex-husband, he had had some friends with disabilities and felt like you were supposed to treat everyone the same. But that’s kind of insulting,because to truly love individuals, you have to adapt your treatment of them to their unique characteristics. My Hinge bio talks about healthcare as a human right. I used to get a few guys replying just to argue with me. They get that pissed about it. If that doesn’t tell you something…

      • srea

        74d

        I mean, not to gatekeep love. But for there to be trust and intimacy, there needs to be a certain degree of understanding…

      • CaramelMixedHoney

        74d

        I love that test! That's such a great way to find out what you need to know without telling them something so personal that effects you. I can't even imagine the messages you got from men on hinge. A lot of men simply want to argue because they can't even believe a woman has the audacity to have an opinion of her own.

    • lazydaisy

      74d

      which podcast is it? Im always looking for good ones 🙏

      • CaramelMixedHoney

        73d

        Her name is Honest Homegirl. She's on Spotify. She does cuss a lot lol, but I love her because of it and she's not trying to be like anyone. Her honesty and opinions are real!

  • Dezmari

    74d

    Sure three years I finally told my boyfriend and the only problem is now that when we argue he throws it in my face. And it really sucks

    • lazydaisy

      74d

      i’m so sorry to hear that, i would definitely let them know it offends you when they do that and to be very careful not to doubt your self control so much. ❤️

  • lazydaisy

    74d

    Thank you all for these answers they really helped ❤️

  • GuardedbyAngels33

    74d

    When I would tell someone about my issues they would act like they were fine with it, only to not be. My husband still has issues when I have issues but I can usually tell him how I'm feeling and he's understanding. Sometimes he makes me feel worse so it's a hit and miss but he's still around. Don't give up. There is someone out there for everyone. It took me a long time to find him.

    • lazydaisy

      74d

      thank you for your honest input 🙏 ❤️

  • MissWilwarin

    73d

    In general, only share when you think it’s important or you feel comfortable. If you’re worried they think you’re losing interest because of a depressive episode or panic attack, you can just be vague and say you’re emotionally struggling during those times and that you are in fact interested in them. You don’t have to get into the specifics if you don’t want to.

  • Dezmari

    72d

    I waited for three years. By then the person already loved me and seemed to put answers to his questions. It’s just sometimes it’s thrown in your face when you’re fighting and I wish I have never told him anything. So I guess all in general it’s a hard decision to make on when you tell someone but I guess it also depends on the severity of your own situation because it might actually help for the other person to know what’s going on so they know how to help you.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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