Struggling with the Decision to Start a Partial Hospitalization Program

Was told I need to start a partial hospitalization program (which I have done a few times in the past) or I will probably be fully admitted to a hospital for impatient stay. This sent me into a depression state. I have bipolar 1 with mixed features, rapid cycling and mood congruent psychosis. I do not want to do PHP but definitely don’t want to do inpatient stay. I don’t think it will help me based on past experiences but it would help my case with disability. I am struggling but I see a therapist and have good support already so why do I need to “kick it up a notch” when I just want to go at my own pace. I would love to hear thoughts and stories of your own PHP and mental health experiences. What made you decide to go to PHP?