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tomandhuckfinn

749d

Hi! You can call me Tom (not my real name haha). I’m looking for people to talk to who understand experiences with BPD, as well as advice for better management of my symptoms. Right now my biggest symptom related to my BPD as well as some other diagnoses I have is my reaction to loneliness. I struggle a lot with splitting and fear of loss and rejection involving people I care about or even just value the opinion of. It makes me feel like a bad person and I’m having a hard time taking care of myself while I’m in a time of life where I have to spend lots of time alone. It’s even hard to connect with people outside of my general circle because I fear that I will overwhelm them with my emotional extremity and constant infodumping. Does anyone have any basic strategies they’ve learned through therapy and such that they can tell me about while I look into further therapy and treatment?

Top reply
    • koitedda

      746d

      I've been here, biiig time. Sometimes, I have to do things on my own just to prove to myself I can, and that I'll still enjoy them and find meaning in them. It sounds dumb, but it's lessened my fear of abandonment, and further, lessened my splitting

    • koitedda

      746d

      I've been here, biiig time. Sometimes, I have to do things on my own just to prove to myself I can, and that I'll still enjoy them and find meaning in them. It sounds dumb, but it's lessened my fear of abandonment, and further, lessened my splitting

    • hotndangerous

      747d

      its hard trying to understand others pov bc u cant even trust urs, but sometimes i just tell myself that. after this happened and id get those thoughts again, i would say to myself, “i dont trust u. go away” when id try to convince myself that everyone hates me. i doesnt solve everything, but it gives me a little bit more hope and space to breathe just saying those words

    • hotndangerous

      747d

      Im still working on this too and it really sucks. I would hang out w my bsf and be so happy around them then one day they said something in a different tone and i stopped responding to texts bc i thought they were only friends w me bc they had to be. a couple days later they called and said they really missed me and wanted to get lunch and all the sudden my mood changed.

    • Alien_Alex2234

      748d

      I don’t generally have advice for all of it but for literally one but might not be much of advice at all. So when I’m going through a splitting moment from someone I have to remind myself that they also have a life so if they’re not responding or not answering calls I have to remind myself that they might be busy and away from their phone at the time. Depending on the situation that caused the split if it’s something small like a situation that didn’t go as planned in my head I have to remind myself that not everything will always go as planned bc my brain can’t predict exactly how they will react or how the situation will end out. I haven’t found much to do with the fear of Rejection/abandonment but I heavily struggle with both but for abandonment i kind of think of it this way like if you want to leave then leave I’m not going to sit here and chase you or stop you because it takes to much energy to sit there and cry beg and plead for someone to stay when they don’t even want to be there to begin with or even possibly feel the same way. It’s when a person is a favorites person to me is when I frantically fear them leaving me that’s the part I struggle with a lot. For self care I also spend much time alone so to me it’s like well ain’t no one going to see me any time soon so then I let myself get like so bad so I don’t know it’s like one day I kind of just set up a schedule in a sense but I still like never fully follow it but it definitely helps me bc it kind of reminds me that heyy it’s been a few days sense you done this this and this.

    • Sunny9

      749d

      Sorry I dont have advice but I relate to that 100%

    • BimboCookies

      749d

      I'm struggling with the same thing and without access to healthcare I'm stuck rebuilding one day at a time. I'm also lonely ❤

    • moonstone

      749d

      ❤️

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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