Struggling with Mental Disorders: My Daily Battle

I have spirts where my PBR is under controll and I think that "ok I got this , things are finally changing". Then boom right back to the worry and the suffocating feeling of anxiety because I keep screwing up all that I am supposed to be doing! I always worry what my actions or words will make people think about me.. which causes more anxiety and more screw ups and stupid crap coming outta my mouth! I have always wanted to "fit in" with others but people don't take the time to understand why I am weird and awkward! I have a hard time also relating to people because I don't understand their thought process and I honestly don't think people understand how I process things either! Hang in there .. there are people who understand! If you ever need to talk .. please send me a message! If I don't reply right way I will! Have a blessed day,

I can relate. I have had my bpd under control for awhile but I know that I still think of me as that person sometimes and wish I could escape my reality

Boy can I relate. I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I don't want to it just happens. Like you I babble a lot because I can't get out what I want to say. I know what I want to say it just doesn't come out. I struggle with the thoughts of living like this but like you I don't want to go to hell. One thing that I use now is a text crisis line 741741. All you do is just text "home" to 741741 to get started. It has really helped me. The crisis workers there are really nice and are willing to listen. I found it online. I also try to journal, do crafts or my other hobbies. When I can't focus or can't concentrate I try to go to sleep. Of course there is always music, reading, and art therapy. I hope knowing that you not alone helps. I'm here if you ever need to talk.