Struggling with Controlling My Emotions

I’ve kind of started assuming that any strong emotional reaction that I have is probably not called for. It’s valid, but it doesn’t mean that acting on it is right. It’s a trauma response when we lash out like that. It’s a defense mechanism that we don’t really need. Of course you can’t let people take advantage or walk all over you, but there are right ways to approach that rather than lashing out, even though it may feel like “but they deserve it.” I *try* to walk away until my emotion calms down. You’ll probably notice you no longer have that desire to lash out. Remind yourself that you are safe. Ask yourself if it’s worth potentially burning the bridge (usually it’s not). It feels…uncomfortable to not act on our emotions. But that’s the thing. Recovery IS uncomfortable. It IS hard. It can be very painful to ignore your impulses, but it gets easier and it is worth it❤️

Journaling and then hiding what I wrote for a week or so, having a place to put all of my gigantic feelings that wasn’t another person was really helpful. Also try to learn how to apologize properly and mean it. It will help when you lash out and need to revise your words and make amends so that the person listening to you will keep helping you, even though you may have hurt them. Having someone patient enough to let you try again if you get mean, really helps. Just try to do things to show how much you appreciate their help so it doesn’t feel like they’re just your punching bag. They’re a person and they’re strong and patient enough to try to help you, so you gotta respect that! Always treat the people helping you with respect. That way, even if you’re mad, they know how much they mean to you.

CBT STOP skill, Stop, take a deep breathe, observe the persons body language / atmosphere / tension / and exits if you need to remove yourself, Proceed *mindfully* taking into account what you observed.

I personally interact with animals because I could never hurt one of those. They always calm me down. So interacting with those helps.

In my experience, the best ways to avoid this is to learn to recognize when it might happen and take steps to separate yourself from the situation. If you make sure to take a step back and calm down before you lash out, you’ll be able to better think about how you want to get your thoughts across without hurting people. Hope this helps!

I don’t have much advice but I do want u to know I struggle with this as well. Blessed be my friend