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cyberfizz

683d

Huge rant so ya so basically my parents divorced about 4 years ago and it hurt me, ALOT. I knew it was coming but I couldn't accept it and I still can't sometimes. I didn't get any support through the divorce, from anyone. which made it significantly harder. my mom moved into an apartment about 2 weeks after they had told me about the divorce. it was a really hard time for everyone. fast forward 4 years, my dads dating again. he and his girlfriend will have been dating 1 year in July and I hate her. She's nice, to everyone and I have no reason to hate her but I do. it's hard for me not only because I feel like I'm betraying my mom if I do like this new girl and because my dad likes her more than me. they go on vacations, he looks happier with her than he ever did with me and honestly i think im just taking my anger out on her but I can't stop. i can't talk to my dad because he dosent listen and will just yell at me and idk. I want him to be happy but ya. he's mad I don't talk to her and we fought about It an hour ago so ya, how do I stop hating his gf?

Top reply
    • gemjalbeezy

      683d

      Hey💕 my parents divorced like 8 years ago when I was a tween, and it still affects me even though im happy and i know they're both happier. Therapy helped realize that a lot of stuff- not being able to express my anger/longing for someone to talk to/feeling like I dont belong- all came from the time my parents split. It's hard sometimes but you learn to heal and be there for yourself and the parts that need help. My moms in a long term relationship with this awesome guy who i love, but at the beginning pf their relationship i didnt want anything to do with him for the same reason, like it felt like i was betraying dad a little. I grew to like him naturally bc he's cool and personable and caring. It sounds a little bit like you have needs that aren't being filled by your dad and it's like his girlfriend is replacing you and thats so valid!! I recommend therapy if ur in a position/have access to it. You're not alone💕💕

    • YanyLaurel

      683d

      My parents divorced when I was a sophomore and it was also very difficult for me. I still have a lot of anger toward my dad. Writing letters to him helps. I don't end up sending any of them but it helps me process what I'm feeling. You could write a letter to him, or his girlfriend, and even your mom, telling them how you feel. If it's faster to type, do that, if it's easier to write by hand, do that, but I highly recommend doing it to help you at least know how you feel. There is also a really great emotion when I like to use to figure out what words I can use to describe how I'm feeling

      • YanyLaurel

        683d

        @YanyLaurel On Google Images search " emotion wheel fairygodboss ". That one with the light colors is the one I have found most useful.

    • gemjalbeezy

      683d

      Hey💕 my parents divorced like 8 years ago when I was a tween, and it still affects me even though im happy and i know they're both happier. Therapy helped realize that a lot of stuff- not being able to express my anger/longing for someone to talk to/feeling like I dont belong- all came from the time my parents split. It's hard sometimes but you learn to heal and be there for yourself and the parts that need help. My moms in a long term relationship with this awesome guy who i love, but at the beginning pf their relationship i didnt want anything to do with him for the same reason, like it felt like i was betraying dad a little. I grew to like him naturally bc he's cool and personable and caring. It sounds a little bit like you have needs that aren't being filled by your dad and it's like his girlfriend is replacing you and thats so valid!! I recommend therapy if ur in a position/have access to it. You're not alone💕💕

    • Nyx.Saighdiuir

      683d

      Hey! I'm so sorry that this is happening to you and I'm sure it's difficult to deal with. I understand your position. It seems like the new girlfriend is almost "replacing" you in the sense that now your dad is spending time with someone else more. Try to bring up to him that you miss spending time with him. Try to not make it about his girlfriend. Once the two of you have a day together, you may be able to explain how you're so happy that he is happy, but you miss being able to have more time with him and it's hard for you. See if you can open up to the idea of the three of you spending time together, too! He may just be trying to enjoy this new relationship, and in so doing, is unintentionally putting way more focus on it. You can also try to say you just feel left out and you feel sad and want to be able to do more things together. Making it between you and him instead of yourself and her may change the outcome. Good luck!

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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