I feel like, because I was very thin my entire life until...

I think dietitians have the best advice there are a few good ones on you tube

The good thing about being overweight is that we usually don't get hurt in accidents . The really thin people get hurt the most.

Please don't beat yourself up. You are still the same wonderful person inside. Weight and age are only numbers

Oh my heavens! You are being horrible to yourself and that's so very sad. I don't know what religion you are or if you're not but being overweight is in a sin I'll say that again being overweight is not a sin! Then you have nothing to be ashamed of all of our bodies change. I think it's important that you continue to go outside because the last thing you want to do is get agoraphobia the fear of going out been there done that hard to do control than eating I have no magic answers for you but all I can tell you is that you have people here that care about you that want to see you put your face in the sun and walk proud no matter what size you are because it sounds like you're a lovely person and we don't want you to hurt yourself God bless

Go be in the body positive spaces and just kinda immerse yourself. You'll slowly start thinking different and accept your body for what it is. I used to feel the same despite being fat my entire life. Being in body positive spaces got me to at least be neutral about my body and that's far healthier than hating your very existence