killerkay42

278d

Does anyone have a spouse who doesnt/didnt get their issues? mine keeps telling me to move. as if taking time to sit and recover, and not be in severe pain, means I'm lazy. like my occasional lounging means my pain is a personal failing.

Osteoarthritis (OA)

Chronic Generalized pain

Fibromyalgia (FM)

Chronic Pain

Generalized pain

Nausea and Vomiting

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  • funbuns420

    278d

    People have basically told me the same. If they don't have a pain disorder they will never truly understand. Sometimes moving too much triggers my pain.

  • mossy420

    278d

    i used to have a gf who was similar i have arthritis and fibromyalgia so i’m always in pain and people i think just get sick of hearing about it or think that you aren’t actually in pain all the time i don’t think that can comprehend that we are truly always in pain which makes it difficult to relate

  • Zenon

    278d

    My partner doesn’t flat out tell me I’m lazy or a failure but I feel they resent me and don’t try to understand. Sometimes it seems like they’re being obtuse or maybe they’re just sick of being with someone who feels shitty most of the time. But they never really ask how I’m doing/feeling or pay attention to my cues. So I have tried repeatedly communicating where I’m at and what my needs are, and even then, it’s like nothing changes. I will be on the couch or in bed, clearly in pain or feeling sick, and they literally just walk right past me like I’m not even there. It’s been worse lately. I’m ignored most of the time we are home together. I feel invisible and so isolated. I’ve tried to be as positive and supportive to them as possible, but I know it’s exhausting to be with me and sometimes I wonder what else I can do.

    • funbuns420

      278d

      That's how my ex was to me. He broke up with me the day after I was finally diagnosed. We were together for 7 years.

  • puppet

    278d

    My husband is the same way! He doesn't understand chronic pain. I've been hurting for years and he acts like I'm lazy not hurt. If they could just feel what we feel for a day or 2 maybe then they would get it.

    • killerkay42

      274d

      every now and then, hes really sympathetic, but he wants me to get up and move more, he swears itll fix me.

  • Fibrofoggirl

    278d

    My husband thinks it’s all in my head, and I need to see a psychiatrist

  • Hope_L

    278d

    I’ve had issues with my mom feeling that way, telling me my meds are “just going to make me sicker,” and that “one day some doctor is actually going to tell you that a magic pill isn’t gonna help and you’re gonna have to work to get better.” She also was super weirded out when she rode in my car and saw my disabled parking placard that I only use on super bad pain days. I just try to avoid talking to her about it all. I don’t think you need to see a psychiatrist to cure your fibro (because that just doesn’t happen!), but I have a therapist for chronic illness support and it’s nice to be able to express my frustrations to a neutral party and get constructive advice on how to mentally cope with being chronically ill

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