Feeling Unappreciated: Why Can't I Get the Help I Give?

I can really relate. As I’ve been in therapy, I’ve realized that it has more to do with me than with the people around me, though. My therapist pointed out to me a while ago that I have some dependent/codependent traits, which was hard to accept, but it has been really insightful. I realized that I’m actually giving TOO MUCH of myself. I have a hard time saying no, I let my sister emotionally dump on me, I make huge efforts to help people, etc. and feel frustrated when I don’t receive it in return. I’ve come to see that for me, it can go as far as kind of relying on others to meet all of my emotional needs or “save” me in a sense. Anyway, something I’ve been working on lately is being aware of my codependent traits, setting boundaries, and putting in only as much effort as I receive from other people. I still help, but without sacrificing myself and my well-being for others because it is a heavy burden to carry other people’s struggles on top of my own. It can be hard to adjust, especially as I watch my sister struggle and I just want to swoop in and fix everything, but I know it is what is best for me and my mental health, and probably also best for her in her particular situation. It can feel selfish, but I promise it isn’t. We are not meant to give our all in relationships. Ideally, they should be equally yoked.