Struggling with BPD and Finding Love

I don’t have real good friends nor a significant other rn. I spent 6 years in a toxic relationship and wasted so much time

I used to, but then I found out my mentor (who I absolutely love and who has an amazing husband and family) ALSO has BPD. She has made it work. She loves her life. She went from the very lowest you can get to having two kids, an amazing husband, and a wonderful career

It’s hard to keep healthy relationships. Excepially when your emotions are a roller coaster most days. I see my sister and brother go off and find their own family’s. It hard. Connecting with someone is hard when you always have that fear they’ll leave or you’ll be unable to communicate with them.

I ended up in a good relationship for 3 years but for the wrong reasons. She was wonderful to me and I didn't return the favor. In part this is because I didn't like her the right way. I got into a relationship that I shouldn't have. What I'm getting at is I went after a relationship with high hopes when I should have been more honest with myself about how I felt about the relationship. I got some of the good features I wanted but at too great a cost. If the real deal comes around I'll grab it right up. But don't get overexcited and grab something that isn't right for you. To answer your question more directly yes I do worry about that. What helps me is having good friends around me.