I lie awake at night unable to sleep, obsessing over my skin. I cry from the pain I’m causing as I peel off layer after layer of skin. I just sit in the dark watching the clock tick by. Just one more then I’ll stop, but I never do. Not until I’m bleeding and trembling from the pain then the shame sinks in and I finally cry myself to sleep. I just want to convince myself that this is the only body I’ll get and to stop trying to destroy it.
This hurts me so much to read, I am so sorry. I feel the same exact way, I always tell myself one more but that's never the case. Even when I'm tired and could go to sleep, my hands always go to my face to feel for spots that I can rip off. I hate waking up with a sore face and then looking in the mirror the next day is the worst.
I put hydrocolloid Bandages on my face at night to help prevent picking and heal my scars. My face was really bad in high school but it’s gotten a little better by having a skin care routine. Maybe that can help you💕
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