Rebuilding a Friendship with My Bisexual Best Friend

Hello, my name is Max. I recently rebuilt a friendship with my best friend whom I’m also in love with. We’re both bisexual and I love him so much. He went through phases of no communication with me, to wanting to be friends, to straight up being in love with me. Since going to his hometown and not leaving until we were talking again, we have reestablished our commitment towards each other, he however has a girlfriend (whom I can’t stand) and claims to have never had feelings for me (which makes me roll my eyes). He has proven time and time again since restarting our friendship that he wants to be in my life and wants me in his. However, my OCD keeps fixating on losing him again and my anger that he is not my boyfriend. I got that I’m angry that he doesn’t want to be with me, and at the same time over the moon excited that I have my best friend. How do I deal with this because I feel so trapped at times.