Anyone else deal with crazy, intense, UNCONTROLLABLE anger outbursts from their PTSD? This has been me, since a little kid, and coming to light again with new traumas. I am afraid of myself. I don’t even have a second to think. I just automatically physically react. I hate myself. I feel so guilty for my anger. I feel like an awful person because of it. I’m afraid of myself since I can’t control it 😭
Restlessness and Agitation
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Complex post traumatic stress disorder
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Yes I also can get incredibly angry seemingly out of nowhere. For me I'm not sure if it's from CPTSD or from having a meltdown but it's incredibly draining and such a horrible feeling. You're definitely not alone in this, I've heard about it some where before, and the fear of what we may do, that one day we'll go out of control and be like those who hurt us is a very valid fear. I tend to bang my fists on my head or thighs and if not then the next hard surface, I'm trying to just avoid triggers as much as I can so I don't have much advice to give but you're not alone.
Yep. I'm scared of me too. Thats why I isolate and have 0 friends. Because I care about people so much I want to stay away from them with my negative toxic energy. I'm glad I care about people still after everything people have done to me and my "parents" completely failing me I still care about people. Sounds like you do too. Thats so cool right? I tell myself everyday "you deserved better" and apologize to myself that I didn't get it. The anger, bitterness and resentment I have is the ONLY self worth I'm ever going to get in this life. This isn't the life I chose its the life I have been given and I'm living it to the best of my ability. You deserve compassion. Show yourself some everyday. It has healed me so much.
My DMs are always open.
I just had one of those last night. You're not alone.
I've gotten to a point where I can feel the anger coming and separate myself from the situation before I blow up (ie. Yell, throw things, hurt myself, be mean/cruel). But that's after years of attacking anything that scared me until I accepted that I didn't want to put any more negativity or pain into the world. And it's gradual. Things will always trigger us. We will always get angry. We will not always catch ourselves. But Journaling helps. Got an app on my phone for in the moment. I keep an ever changing spreadsheet of goals and tasks. And I'm not perfect in this pursuit of sanity but I'm proud to be getting on the right track. I believe in you. Reach out any time to chat about this stuff if you'd like. 💙
Constantly and it makes me really upset, I always cry a lot after and then just making a cocoon and crashing
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