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I’m scared I won’t ever be able to stop, that bulimia will be something I struggle with until I die. I tell myself I’ll stop because I’m going to be a collegiate athlete, I tell myself I’ll stop for the ones who I love, and I tell myself that I’ll stop because I know that I have worth and value, but I never stop and everyday is the same. I have so much to live for, a whole future, I but I’m scared I’m going to ruin it all with this disorder that makes me not want to live everyday. I don’t want to be selfish anymore, i don’t want to think about purging anymore, I don’t want to purge anymore, I just want to live. The problem is that I can’t stop.

Top reply
    • Lakelife

      692d

      I’ve tried. I’ve had bulimia on and off for 17 years … I think what’s helping me now oddly enough is seeing a cousin go through terminal cancer and not be able to eat or drink … she has under 6 weeks to live

    • Lakelife

      692d

      I’ve tried. I’ve had bulimia on and off for 17 years … I think what’s helping me now oddly enough is seeing a cousin go through terminal cancer and not be able to eat or drink … she has under 6 weeks to live

    • Basya

      695d

      I totally understand. I have a hard time stopping even though I’m ready to get better. If you need a recovery buddy to help each other w behaviors I’m here 💕

    • Alrightokay

      725d

      I hope you realize your strength. Thank you for sharing. I totally understand this feeling. Good luck ❤️

    • awa

      746d

      i feel this 100% and i know it makes little sense but in a way i just want to pass away right now instead of watching myself deteriorate and others seeing it as well. i know i’ve probably already screwed up my body beyond return.

    • Katiewat

      748d

      Hello. I struggle with anorexia and I also feel the same way. No matter what I do or say I cannot seem to let go of my behaviors. They destroy me but I don’t care. I feel like I do not have control of my own mind, body, hands, actions, etc. I fear I will never recover and I will be “that anorexic weirdo” forever. You are not alone in feeling this way and I’m sorry you have to endure that pain everyday. I wish I could provide useful words, but I can only provide this message.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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