Struggling with Self-Harm Urges

DISCLAIMER: thoughts of SH I’ve been having thoughts of SH lately, and not even for a good reason. I just am so tempted and want to release some of the stress I’m under. I take hot showers to relax, do breathing exercises, but they’re recurring. I spend time with my cat too. The thing is, I used to SH with exercise and hitting myself in high school, and the only reason I never cut was because my mom reacted really badly was because my sister ended up telling her, looking for help, but my mom got incredibly angry and made her strip every six(ish) weeks in front of her so she could check her body. I never, ever have told my mom about my SH in high school, and when I did look to her for help when I almost committed suicide (by driving), she reacted terribly and it basically traumatized me. But with the increase in urges, I don’t have a “good” or healthy reason to NOT harm myself. I talked to my therapist about the above, but we ran out of time before we could talk about why I shouldn’t. I don’t have healthy reasons and it’s getting harder and harder to resist.