Struggling with Confidence: Need Tips and Advice

I need tips on confidence. I panic a lot on things that probably aren’t serious. I think too deeply about things that does not matter and about all the negative things that could happen. I assume people don’t like me when I first meet them. I do have many friends in college but I sometimes think that they all don’t secretly like me. I used to be a very confident and loud kid, the troublemaker type. I was always told by adults that I was a bad person and will never make it anywhere in my future. As a result I became very quiet and disciplined. In high school I was the teachers pet. I went from the kid who stayed after school always in detention to the kid who stayed after school always studying and asking teachers questions. I started to worry way too much on my image and wanted to look like a good person so I stopped expressing my feelings. I stopped protecting myself and let people use me, but I never asked for help. Even if I got injured in something, I will act like nothing happened but excuse myself to go somewhere private to suffer on my own. I didn’t want to bother others. I did stuff even if I didn’t want to for other people, I couldn’t say “no” Every comment people make about me bothers me. When I was in high school, one of my teammates said that I had piercing eyes that stare right into other peoples soul. As a result, I have trouble making eye contact with people now. I always look down or look away from people when they talk to me. Bad scenarios pop up into my head all day. When I am not busy, I start to replay the bad things that happened to me or my brain starts to tell me mean things. I start hearing things and at night, I sometimes get flashes of horror images and can’t move. I just need someone or something to bring me back to when I was a kid. I rather be the troublemaker kid who is confident and free. I tried SSRIs, Beta blockers, weed and adderall. At first, adderall and weed helped a lot and I was so happy to be myself again. I cried finally thinking the suffering ended. But none of it works anymore. I am currently on another antidepressants that starts with a B but I don’t feel anything.