Toko

404d

How to get over an obsessive realtionship after break up? we broke up two years ago and it still feels exactly the same and its miserable. I would do anything for him, and I mean anything. legal or moral or not. its not healthy but I just can't move on.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

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  • NJ

    403d

    I get you Toko. When a relationship ends, it feels like as if that person died and you are grieving the loss of that relationship. The relationship is over in real life but in your head it is still active. I struggled a lot when some people in my life left me and it traumatized me. One thing that helped me is making a list of the good things that came out of ending this relationship ( if it was not healthy or suitable for you). Also, I keep reminding myself every time I think about that person is that in life, I am a train and I pass by many train stations. Sometimes people get on my train, stay there and get off at the next stop. I can’t control their desire to get on or get off. I can politely request but to each person their own free will. Instead of staying at the station the person I really wanted to keep departed at, I make an effort to travel to the next station where there are new people waiting to get on my train! Maybe, some of the new people might commit to stay on the train for a long time and these people are the people that I will cherish until the end of times. I hope this analogy helps. It is all about it redirecting your thinking just like a toddler that keeps asking for unhealthy things but you have to stay firm and say “no, let’s do something else.”

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