I finally have a date in the books for top surgery but now I’m getting cold feet.I’ve been thinking about this surgery & binding on and off for 9 years, but now that we’re SO close I’m like “what if I just want a reduction? What if I want to have Some boob? What if I just want to find The Right Bra” bc I think boobs are GREATand THEN there’s the more serious concern that when my heavy chest is gone, there will be nothing to distract me from my hips, my ass, my stomach which for years all felt way too big. What if getting rid of the volume at the top of my torso makes the volume at the bottom so much more pronounced (I’ll go from being a rectangle when binding to being a triangle)This feels like fucked up feelings to have but I’m so scared of reverting back to a time where I more actively hated my body
I feel self reflection would help the best and doing what you think is best. I’m just starting to figure out gender dysphoria because I wasn’t diagnosed that long ago (less than one year) so rushing into a decision is not my cup of tea. Though I may be completely wrong and I haven’t been around the community long enough to know
If you'd like, you can talk to your surgeon about different options during the pre-op evaluation!:)
It is scary, worrying about it causing more dysphoria/dysmorphia in other sections of your body, but I'd say go with what your heart says, and weigh the pros and cons. I've had top surgery in 2019, and it amplified bottom dysphoria. However, there's not ounce of regret for getting a flat chest. Honestly? If you're currently in therapy, or have a close friend you trust, communicate with them?:)
Ive seen where someone about to get top surgery writes a letter to themself, reminding them of all the reasons, feelings, and circumstances over the years that led to the decision. Then the person can read it before and after surgery to help calm their nerves.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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