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Struggling with Loneliness and Isolation

PorcelainKat

599d

I've been having a really hard time with loneliness and isolation. I don't really have friends anymore and it's difficult to find a safe space to make any more now.

28

45

45

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

Depression

Attention-Deficit Disorder

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Top reply
    • Rabbits

      599d

      making new friends feels so much more dangerous and scary than just staying alone... itd be nice to just get used to feeling lonely but I don't think it works like that. people are so complicated. it helps to know im not alone with this.

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    • Felix69

      595d

      I felt that before. *hugs* want to be my friend?

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    • Moomoo72

      595d

      I've been struggling with the same. My partner has a lot of friends and he tells me they really like me, but they feel like *his* friends, not mine. I don't know what to say or do around them and only see them when he's with me. I tend to only speak when spoken to and I feel like if I speak any other time I'll say something wrong or irrelevant or make things awkward. In the past when I'd do anything but respond, people either completely ignored me or stopped and stared at me like I'd just said something taboo, so now I'm afraid to talk much at all. I hate the way it made me feel and I don't want to feel it again.

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    • TannTann

      596d

      Lol

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    • TannTann

      596d

      I’m in a confliction. Like I want friends and get sad that I can’t make any. But at the same time I’m glad I don’t have any because I’d rather be alone.

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      • PorcelainKat

        596d

        @TannTann yup. I'm extremely introverted. Most of the time, I like being alone. I don't really go out aside from work and Dr. appointments. I don't really talk to people outside those situations. It can be freeing to save the little energy I have, not having to focus on being "social." But there are times when I do want that social connection, where I can resent how closed off I can be.

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        • TannTann

          596d

          @PorcelainKat same! I’ve always tried to find friends who are very introverted like myself I even have social anxiety. Like I would even be okay hanging out with ppl and considering them friends and not even have to hardly speak. Just the company is good enough for me like let’s just get together want watch a movie on silence type chitchat here and there.

          1

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    • Erebyssian

      596d

      I find it really hard to find people who actually communicate in the way that I need for friendship and to feel like they are actually there for me. I hate how many people will say "talk to me" or that stuff but still never reach out and do the same, because I dont want it to be one sided where I just constantly vent to them. I still enjoy being alone and seclusion a lot tbh, but I wish I had more friends:(

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      • PorcelainKat

        596d

        @Erebyssian this was exactly what I was having issues with. My "friends" never reached out to me. Not to talk, not spend time/hang out with. And thanks to Snapchat I could see how often they were hanging out with mutual "friends". I got tired of being the one putting the most effort in.

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        • Erebyssian

          596d

          @PorcelainKat The reason I dropped most people 🙌

          0

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    • cj12

      596d

      😥I feel you on that but that's why I stay to myself but when I try to talk to someone it's like my best friend anxiety says no you aint

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      • PorcelainKat

        596d

        @cj12 I've been having that issue when talking with my coworkers (specifically my supervisor). I'll just vent about the shit health stuff I'm dealing with, and then feel bad because she's my supervisor. So it's kinda hard not crossing that line in my mind of friend|coworker

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    • dodge

      596d

      i’ll be your friend, i’ve also had issues with isolation and self defense between people who just want to say hello or help me with something , but always know i’m a safe space to understand and listen all the time:)

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      • PorcelainKat

        596d

        @dodge the same goes to you too. If you need somebody, I'm here

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      • PorcelainKat

        596d

        @dodge thanks! I'll send you a pm

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    • MithPhenix

      597d

      My only true source of social interaction is just my wife and kids, all the “friends” I had from adolescence and early adulthood turned out to be fake and the moment it was convenient for them, dropped me from their lives. Part of me is glad, because honestly they almost to a person all kinda revealed they were NOT who I thought they were, and had me questioning reality with how much I didn’t know about them. But yeah I struggle with the whole idea that I lack any kind of friendship in my life and that it feels way too late in my life now to be able to find any actual friends. Plus still being extremely socially awkward doesn’t help either lol

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      • Goodie

        595d

        @MithPhenix if you are a spiritual person try one of your local churches. You don’t need to be of that faith but the car congregation will welcome you and if they don’t find another one

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      • PorcelainKat

        596d

        @MithPhenix this is exactly what I went through and what I going through

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    • Harley.Q

      597d

      I'm a weird and loud person naturally and ya not many people can tolerate me but I have a big family so that helps alot since I don't have many friends at all... but anymore people are all so fake plus for some reason the only people ik is drug addicts...

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    • jackieOwO

      597d

      I can completely understand because of the fact I try to be myself, people look at me as weird. I decided just to be quiet so I could get no judgement honestly

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      • PorcelainKat

        596d

        @jackieOwO I thought that way for a veru long time. But I'm trying to be better about being myself. Because I know that I've gotten rejected even when I tried to confirm. If I'm going to be left out anyways, I'd rather be true to myself.

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    • Clever

      598d

      I totally relate. Ever since I went onto mm middle school I never really learned how to make that social circle everyone seemed to have. And now I have online friends and I love them dearly, but I miss the friends I can no longer see face to face and that feeling of connecting that way. You can't exactly take your online friends to the park.

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      • PorcelainKat

        596d

        @Clever I can get that. There's something to having irl contact.

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    • CozyVibez

      598d

      I empathize with you. Know that we're here for you! Don't hesitate to PM me if you want to!! Best wishes ❤️❤️

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      • PorcelainKat

        596d

        @CozyVibez thank you🖤

        0

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    • CaptainHolmes

      598d

      I feel this. I have my husband and my mom but I don't know how to make new girlfriends. I work with all men. Nothing against men but I would love to have some other women to hang out with and talk to. I go to a support group but everyone there is way older than me.

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      • Goodie

        595d

        @CaptainHolmes how old are you? I am 68 and a widow you can talk to me anytime

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    • SweetTea77

      599d

      I myself have experienced the isolation. The need for a place that's just your sanctuary and serenity is real. Unfortunately when going through difficult times, everyone wants to tell us how to live our lives with sentences that start out with, " You know what you need to do?", "I wouldn't have done that", "this is what you should do" and while their intentions may come from a good place, our circle of people tend to forget their suggestions are invasive and cause a sense of overwhelming anxiety. We live with the decisions made, whether it's our own ideas or that of the "suggestions" from others. Repeat after me... "WE LIVE WITH THE DECISIONS MADE IN LIFE, NOT EVERYONE ELSE!" That means we have to stand up to those MOMENTS when people interject their own decisions upon us. Once I started telling people this... It helped simmer down those voices and allowed me to take back control of my own life.

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    • SoniKuri

      599d

      Since the pandemic and having pre existing health conditions including type 1 diabetes plus next year I'll be 40 its tough making friends. The friends I have I hardly hear from. Friendship isn't a 1 way Street. I don't want to be friends with someone that can't pick up the phone and respond even in a busy life or skip over a puddle just to be there for me. Quality over quantity I say.

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      • PorcelainKat

        599d

        @SoniKuri I've had one way friendships all my life. They either fizzle out because they don't reach out to me (socially or emotionally), or they become toxic in my life and I have to cut them out. It's draining to keep making and loosing "friends"

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        • SoniKuri

          599d

          @PorcelainKat I completely understand what you mean I'm not really involved in anything groups or anything. I work and come home and repeat. I work with people in their 20s and I will be 40 next year so it's hard to relate. My only sibling and sister passed away 9 years ago so I live with my parent's. We're like the three stooges and I'm fine with that. We have 4 cats and I'm beyond blessed to have them in my life. I'm not married I can't have children

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    • PurplePluto

      599d

      I've been feeling the exact same way.

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      • PorcelainKat

        599d

        @PurplePluto it's a hard thing to act on. But I think being on this app is a small step forward

        3

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    • Rabbits

      599d

      making new friends feels so much more dangerous and scary than just staying alone... itd be nice to just get used to feeling lonely but I don't think it works like that. people are so complicated. it helps to know im not alone with this.

      10

      Reply
      • PorcelainKat

        599d

        @Rabbits glad I could help make you feel that way. I really don't feel like there's a safe way to do it anymore. But even though I'm not a social person, I miss being able to talk to and have fun with others.

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    • Alyssagpwarrior

      599d

      i understand and i feel the same way

      4

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      • Denotchka

        598d

        @Alyssagpwarrior Been there, done that and STILL struggling with it on a human level. Spiritually, I don’t feel like that. It’s the human side of it.

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      • PorcelainKat

        599d

        @Alyssagpwarrior thank you. It's not a great feeling, but helps to feel not so alone

        3

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        • Alyssagpwarrior

          599d

          @PorcelainKat you’re welcome 💕 👍

          1

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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