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Jealous of My Best Friend's Death

Tonianm71

677d

5 yrs ago my mom died. I was an only child and only didn't live with her for 2 yrs. She ended up moving in with my husband and me. 3 yrs ago I lost my best friend . If a gf can be a soul mate that is what she was. She was ALWAYS there foe knew what I wanted or needed b4 I did. I fell into a deep depression still not better. Well I have never admitted this to anyone....I am jealous that my friend was the one to died. I wish it was me. I am mad that it was her ....Am I a bad person for feeling like this ?

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    • Ena_Silvoc

      677d

      Your feelings are completely valid. My father in law unexpectedly lost my mother in law almost a month ago and keeps saying how he should have been the one to go, not her. You're not alone feeling that way. You don't have to go through it alone either. One of my FIL's friends has been there for him a lot and it seems to have been of help for him to keep him from being alone with his thoughts all the time.

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    • Ena_Silvoc

      677d

      Your feelings are completely valid. My father in law unexpectedly lost my mother in law almost a month ago and keeps saying how he should have been the one to go, not her. You're not alone feeling that way. You don't have to go through it alone either. One of my FIL's friends has been there for him a lot and it seems to have been of help for him to keep him from being alone with his thoughts all the time.

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    • Beaner.com

      677d

      Omg! You are not at all a bad person for feeling like this! I feel like you are probably just done with life and need a break. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this!

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      • Tonianm71

        677d

        @Beaner.com thank you and you are correct I am done with this life. I am ready to be with all my loved ones that have past.

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        • Beaner.com

          677d

          @Tonianm71 Just please don't end it. I know you are probably tired of hearing it, but don't go. Please. I know how it feels to be a friend to people who are thinking of committing and I am so scared that one day I will wake up and they will be gone and I will be lost.

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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