Struggling with Depression and Providing for My Family

I'm 27 with a 5 year old boy that will be 6 Monday and a 2 year old girl her birthday is today. I've told my friends and family about me not having anything for them for there birthday because I got covid and lost my vehicle because I couldn't go to work then I lost my job because I didn't have a vehicle and one thing always leads to another and I'm so depressed the one person I could have help me or talk to was my mom and I lost her last year in March and I haven't been the same woman since. I've been suicidal for about a week now and feel like my kids would be better off without me but the fact is they have food on the table clothes on there back because of the help of my husband his boss picks him up for work but I feel like I'm not being a very good wife because me being so depressed and him not fully understanding what's going on in my head. I've took medication that could harm me and I am ready to be able to go get some help.