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Tiyanna

644d

Feeling lonely in my marriage 😔 I'm constantly asking my husband to sympathize with my feelings,because I'm ALWAYS there for him whenever he's stressed or upset. Yet when it's me he says I'm being over dramatic. I was sick for 3 days(both hip bones and back hurting,running a high fever,sore throat, and a headache) I texted my husband(who was over his cousins house to let him know and he said "I'll take care of u when I get home". Then he gets home and sees me slumped over crying on the sofa and says I'm being dramatic 🤦🏽‍♀️ Then, leaves me to tend to all four kids alone while he was gone to his cousins helping him with stuff and giving people rides.....He's been this way for years with me now and it's really draining mentally and I don't know how to fix things,bc I feel as if I'm trying all by myself smh. I've made an appointment for marriage counseling for next month but I don't k on if I can wait until then to decide on divorcing him and taking my kids,because mentally I'm hurting bc the 1 person that's supposed to love and be there for me isn't and doesn't seem to care about my feelings or my well being.

Top reply
    • Mop

      643d

      @Tiyanna that's really not good or healthy, kind of toxic. You should be able to talk to him, and you should both be doing equal amounts of the work taking care if kids and stuff. Not really a marriage. Be careful not to let yourself slowly get more and more used to having less freedom in your life, that's how they get you. I say marriage counseling attempt and if that doesn't help, it sounds like he wont even listen to you which would be the first step, I'd give up.

    • Mop

      644d

      This method can make things worse or better depending on the person. But I like to play the karma game with people. Start caring for him the amount he cares for you. Go abandon him with the kids to hang out with and help your cousins when he's having a hard time. Say you're going to do something important and then sit around doing nothing instead. It may open his eyes to how terribly he's acting. But like I said, it could also make things WAY worse. You know him far better than I do.

      • Tiyanna

        643d

        @Mop but here recently I've been just staying to myself more because whenever I try to talk to him about almost anything he wants to argue with me or fuss at me

        • Mop

          643d

          @Tiyanna that's really not good or healthy, kind of toxic. You should be able to talk to him, and you should both be doing equal amounts of the work taking care if kids and stuff. Not really a marriage. Be careful not to let yourself slowly get more and more used to having less freedom in your life, that's how they get you. I say marriage counseling attempt and if that doesn't help, it sounds like he wont even listen to you which would be the first step, I'd give up.

      • Tiyanna

        643d

        @Mop I tried something like that one afternoon, me and my oldest daughter (bc my husband said I couldn't hang out unless I took her with me🤦🏽‍♀️) went to my cousin enlaws house just so I could finally get a break, and 30 minutes after we had gotten there he started blowing up my phone,my cousins phone, and her boyfriends phone claiming he was going to pick up a "package" from our hometown 30 minutes away. So I simply texted back okay, and that was when he texted me saying all kind of mean and hateful things about me staying out late but I had only been gone just 30 minutes 🤷🏽‍♀️. Anyways I called him and came to find out he had left with the kids and went over to a church members house claiming he needed help with the kids and I was gone 🤦🏽‍♀️ I then told him I wasn't staying out nothing but maybe and hour and a half to two hours because my daughter needed to eat and go to bed(unlike him he'll stay out until 1:30 a.m or 3 a.m at the latest and when he goes out I don't complain about tending to all the kids by myself but he always complains if I ever leave him with all the kids. What kinda dad does that?)

    • Tiyanna

      644d

      sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy bc I keep trying but seems like nothings getting better😥 like right now our three little kids need diapers and my husband has the money to get them(he'd have to walk to get them bc the vehicle he purchased happened to be a lemon) he said he would walk and go get them when it cold down and it has but he's stuck in the living room playing the video game and watching wrestling on his phone...so I guess the kids will be without diapers tonight...if I had the money I would have walked to Walmart in the heat to get my baby's some diapers bc I don't like seeing them go with out...He walked up the road to the gas station to get him a plate of food & a 2 litter soda 🤦🏽‍♀️)

    • EatenByWormy

      644d

      It does sound like you’re trying all by yourself :( your feelings and well being are important!!

    • ellinoris

      644d

      it does seem like he's lost interest he could probably use a push in the right direction of opening up his feelings so you both can communicate better. So marige counseling is a great idea! I'm sorry he's treating you like shit he should absolutely not be pushing your feelings to the side like he is good husbands don't down play their wives feelings, you deserve better than what he's doing I hope you both can work this out because it sounds like you still really love him

      • Tiyanna

        644d

        @ellinoris 😢 I do we've been married 6 years now,but im just tired of feeling lik my feelings don't matter. Or that I have to run to find someone else to talk to about my feeling when I rather talk to him

        • ellinoris

          644d

          @Tiyanna marige is so trying and difficult in many ways. I belive you too will find a way to rekindle your love, as long as you both try if he doesn't seem to be putting in effort or continues not to care about you you best move on because noone should put up with a lackluster significant other, you deserve to feel the love you put out

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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