Feeling Misunderstood and Frustrated

i need help translating what im feeling and whats going on inside me. how is it we never talk… its a cold question. 303 im trying to do something new. i guess smoking weird was a bad mistake. cus the way it made me engage just to realize there isn’t much to engage with and my moms the only person home. i guess me and her aren’t really connecting. i still am haunted by that question. are you saying this because shes asian. i didn’t like that joke ever since. its traumatizing its frustrating because i’m misunderstood. i don’t like that joke anymore ever since i was asked. i thought is this what you think of me. is this who i am to you it still bothers me that thought. that memory and how it keeps popping up