Feeling Suicidal and Trapped in Neglect

TW: Suicidal ideation, Eugenics, Neglect I have been feeling suicidal lately. I'm unsure of what to do. I am disabled and trapped in neglect with no real hope of better. I've lost all of the friends I had left from school after my last abuse situation I escaped from. I thought I was safe but I walked right into more danger. I understand my needs are a lot. I'm tired of begging and crying and suffering. I don't want to be a burden or exist just to suffer. There's not much you can make better of poverty and another abuse situation when there's no where to go and no way to physically or emotionally handle almost my jobs even when semi healthy. I just don't want to spend my whole life suffering and alone. there's definitely shit not diagnosed but I don't have the help I need to do that let alone get accommodations for the diagnosis I have already. why am I going to put more on when I cant even feel like a human being. I just want out.