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Kadair

454d

I feel like the bad guy here! My brother who I told he had a month to move out because I caught him buying drugs. He knew the consequences if he was doing drugs and he still did it. He lied to me three times, one time looking into my eyes! I know who this guy is only because his dad is an old co-worker of my husband. Yesterday I told him exactly how he made me feel, and reminded him this is the last week. He came to my door crying stating he has no money to move or anyone to move in with. I told him I do not know what to say. I feel like the bad guy here but I can not have this in my home! I can not continue having my family and myself stressed all the time!

Top reply
    • Kadair

      449d

      @Electric.Sheep I agree!

    • colacola

      453d

      Wanted to reiterate what others have said: you do not owe him housing. Whilst yes, it's difficult for him, I can see you've tried fron another comment . He's made his decision, consciously or not. maybe kicking him out could be the wake up call he needs to stop lying? You have your family to worry about too, and honestly there is no good/bad guy in this situation. Good luck šŸ¤ž

      • Kadair

        450d

        @colacola thank you! He is out of the house right now and in a shelter working on his drug and alcohol. I told him I do love him but I am still angry with him over what he has done. He also is fixing to go to a liver institute to help work on his liver disease and he is going to also take care of his hep c. Yes that is from drug and alcohol use and it possibly could be very bad on the liver disease because he has had that for awhile. He just never did anything about it. It has been years he has had both, possibly in his teenage years or early 20's.

    • Denotchka

      454d

      If you have children, ignore his tears. This is DANGEROUS BEHAVIOR AND CANNOT BE ALLOWED. Tough love is a hard thing, but addicts have to understand that their behavior has consequences. We canā€™t let co-dependent behavior become the way we roll. Co dependency and GUILT donā€™t help you. If HE feels guilty, good. He blew it. Now donā€™t get the wrong impression that doesnā€™t mean you are ā€œthe bad guyā€ heā€™s playing a mind game and you need to stand your ground. Praying for you and your family.

      • Kadair

        450d

        @Denotchka my daughter is now 19 fixing to be 20. Either way he has moved out and into a shelter. I know, it is just heartbreaking that he did this to us.

    • Electric.Sheep

      454d

      You can't help an addict who doesn't want to change. He knew the rules and he broke them. You were kind and generous. You have done enough. Without consequences we cannot learn. It's time for him to face the consequences of his actions

      • Kadair

        449d

        @Electric.Sheep I agree!

    • Crowsasgods

      454d

      It sounds like he needs some help. Have you tried to get him some? Expecting an addict to go cold turkey is a bit of a tall ask. Have you heard of harm reduction? I say this because putting him out may just make his cycle neverending until someone else is willing to help him to recover or he dies on the street.

      • Kadair

        454d

        @Crowsasgods I have got him into therapy and also the Department of Rehabilitation. Therapy he is signed up for drug and alcohol, which he lies to them and tells them he is fine. He has lived with us for 4 years! I have tried everything to help him and it isn't working I is just getting worse!

      • Crowsasgods

        454d

        @Crowsasgods You definitely don't owe him housing. He doesn't sound like family or anyone close to you so you don't even really have to be his friend but maybe try to get him resources and all of that. Or at the very least direct him to any local harm reduction that you can find.

        • Crowsasgods

          454d

          @Crowsasgods Hinging an addicts living situation on whether or not they relapse more or less guarantees them to eventually be homeless.

ā˜ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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