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DoubleEdgedSword

614d

Hello, new here. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact I had a manic episode earlier this year and currently in that “cleanup” stage where I have to mend a lot of the aftermath of the manictivities (i.e: overspending, becoming overly extroverted, oversharing way too much, & reaching out randomly to people I haven’t spoke to in years). Never new I had BPD (I) until that single manic episode. I’m scared it’ll reoccur yet I don’t wanna take any medications as the experience of being restrained and hospitalized for it was very traumatizing and scary. Since the episode I’ve quit my job and moved back with family to “recover” and restart and it’s going okay. But I do feel guilt during times when I want to feel happy but can’t help but think I may be spiraling again. I miss that intense feeling of happiness I had when manic but know it was detrimental and unreal. I know my warning signs are when I lack sleep, can’t stop typing on my phone, and have grandeur thoughts of trying to involve others in whatever I’m fixated on. Anyone have advice to lessen the feelings of guilt and waves of anxiety?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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