Confidentiality in Therapy: Can I Talk About My Mom's Abuse?

Was she diagnosed with bipolar when she was abusing you if it hasn't happened recently or did it stop when she got diagnosed and treated. She will be reported but they shouldn't take you guys if you're not in a median danger. And the only trouble she would get in is if she wasn't continuing her treatment. If she goes back and forth even with treatment then seeking help is definitely the way to go. Even if it hasn't happened recently things change and meds need an adjusted in the meantime it probably will happen again. There's definitely risks of you guys being taken or your mom being in more serious trouble that she should be in because that's just how society works. The way it's supposed to be set up is because she does have a diagnosis of a mental health disability she will only see repercussions when she's not seeking treatment to avoid being a danger. What this looks like is you guys should all be in therapy and if something happens that she becomes very angry again you should have a space where you're able to talk about it and even though it gets reported its dealt with in a way that keeps you guys together and gets her help that she needs. I cannot trust enough that this is not always what happens but it is what it's supposed to happen. I suggest that you do talk to your therapist about it and express what exactly you want the situation to be. Although she may have to report she may also be willing to help you if the situation becomes worse after reporting it might not be fully in her hands what happens but she's an adult so she has more pool than you do as a minor. Ultimately safety should be the number one concern not just for you but for your siblings.

As someone with a social work degree, mandated reporting is definitely a likely outcome, and that would prompt investigation. However, it doesn’t automatically mean foster care. If it happened a while ago and she has been sober, any investigator worth their salt will help you all get the support you need while living together. I cannot promise anything and there are certainly incompetent people out there and I don’t know the laws in your state. But you are an intelligent teenager and deserve to make an informed decision. Thank you for being vulnerable.

I have the same situation with my mom. It’s hard to want to hold her accountable because you know why she is that way. My mother never spent time with me because my dad liked me so much and was jealous. Also when my sister was born she was harder to deal with so my dad didn’t like her, and they each parented one of us basically. I want to seek help since my dad isn’t giving me a place to stay when things get bad but I’m scared to go to the police and put my mom on trial/in jail. She wouldn’t get the help she needed anyway. When I went to the hospital because I was scared I was going to hurt myself, she thought I was trying to make her look bad, and my dad thought it was ridiculous. I also don’t know what to do, but I have talked with my therapist about all of our fights. She doesn’t physically hurt me, like your mom does, but she traps me with manipulation because I feel bad her mental health isn’t great. Talk with your therapist. I would be in a worst spot right now if I didn’t

thanks to everyone who replied. i appreciate all the advice and im sorry if im being difficult but, i think i just wont mention it for now; i dont want to cause trouble. i just turned 17 so i'll be an adult in less than a year, it seems easier to just deal with it until then. again thanks :)

I agree with @Jade1, excuses for abusive behavior should NEVER be made. but yes, at least in the state i’m in, a therapist would have to report any abuse no matter how long ago it was.

Unfortunately, the therapist would have to tell authorities about this abuse because you are a minor. I never told anyone this either, but my mom threw things at me and would shake me when I was little (everything fell apart after my dad died when I was 8 years old). You aren't alone in this. It sounds like on this thread you have at least 2 or 3 people (including myself) that would be more than willing to talk with you via messeges.

Don't make excuses for your mother's behavior! ("She doesn't mean it.") She is downright abusive. Therapists have a legal and moral obligation to report abuse.

Speaking from experience, going into the foster care system may very well lead to worse outcomes than what it sounds like you’ve been through. Also you said it hasn’t happened recently, which I think deserves merit. You are the expert on your experience, OP. I say follow your intuition on this one.

That’s child abuse. Your therapist would definitely have to report because you’re a minor. Being hit with brooms, crutches and getting your hair pulled is “that bad” that’s horrible no matter what her conditions are! Sorry you’re going through this but please don’t brush this off as if it’s no big deal. Be careful. I hope you find the courage to discuss this with your therapist so that you can get all the help that you need for yourself. 💕

I am so sorry you’re going through this. Unfortunately I believe therapists do have to report child abuse. However I had a similar situation growing up, it’s so great that you have so much empathy toward your mom despite the abuse. Feel free to dm me any time, happy to chat