I have felt the same way for the past few weeks. Just know your feelings are 100% valid and you are not attention seeking. Have you tried therapy? I know you stated you feel like not sharing however it might help. Finding coping skills that work for you is extremely helpful, reaching out on here is a great step! What helps me when I feel like this is finding a distraction such as painting or deep breathing with ocean sounds. You are not alone 💓

Please tell someone how you're feeling! I felt this exact same way before I started medication. Medication isn't for everyone and I was really scared to try it at first, but I realized that before I was just a shell of who I really am. I feel whole and like myself again!! Of course I still have episodes of depression that last few hours, but it's so much better than every single day! I take Mirtazapine btw! :)