What's on Your Mind?

I have a lot of chronic disorders and bipolar 1 is one of them, I recently got a boyfriend and this is the only healthy relationship I have been in so when I feel safe and vulnerable I have flashbacks and panic attacks constantly with him and I'm just scared I'll drive him away or become too much for him 😔

Concerned about the pain I see in my family's eyes watching me go from the strong healthy me to the weak and sick me. Especially for my mother she watched her Dad pass from the same thing that's taking her son. I do my best to stay positive for everyone including myself but I have to confess it's killing me on the inside. So I guess that's the biggest thing on my mind 🙂

Freedom. My siblings aren’t much older than I am but they’ve already had so much freedom I never have and never will. Freedom to live, freedom to work, freedom to be. I’ll be living in my parents basement or in an assisted living and that will be my life. Empty, dull, pointless