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zucchini64

633d

my boyfriend at the time and i were doing really well, or so i thought. we took a break, which ended in him wanting to just be friends. now we hardly talk. at least not as often as we used to. that being said, some things are starting to surface for me, and i wanted to know if this was normal or did i just set my expectations too high. but, he never checked up on me. there was once he did, and that was after i was having an episode and he called me the next day, as well as during it. but other than that i never got a "how are you feeling today" or "you okay?" especially after i would confide in him through text. and anytime i did that(confide through text), he'd get pissy with me, and tell me "i don't listen". which was his excuse as to why he hardly ever reassured me. i'd still reach out for support and it would end up flipping on him, and how i caused him stress. i never meant to cause him stress, or hurt him. but it got to the point where i felt like i had to fake it around him, otherwise he'd leave. that was drilled in my head after i had had a bad day and was crying a lot, so his response was to avoid me the next day. i just feel like i over did it. like i pushed him to his breaking point, even though all i asked for was a shoulder to cry on. someone to listen, and give me reassurance no matter the amount of times it was needed. but it always made him upset... was i doing something wrong? did i expect too much from him..?

Top reply
    • zucchini64

      632d

      @truly.caroline i have a therapist, thankfully... it is really hard, as i'm a rather dependant person. i'm trying to learn how to be more independent though.

    • truly.caroline

      633d

      Finding the right balance with how much to lean on others is so hard. I'm still working on it. It's normal for relationships to come and go with depression. If u need anyone to talk to, feel free to DM me. Also maybe try to find a therapist or group therapy, those helped me a lot. Also reading about depression and coping mechanisms. ☺️

      • zucchini64

        632d

        @truly.caroline i have a therapist, thankfully... it is really hard, as i'm a rather dependant person. i'm trying to learn how to be more independent though.

    • 4byfour

      633d

      You did not expect too much. So long as he communicates what he’s actually feeling (which he’s not, he’s projecting. Not sure what, or why), you both can make it work. It seems he doesn’t want to effectively communicate though, so he’s the type of guy that can be very, very hard to date. I’d get out now ❤️ intentional or not, he’s already stringing you along, so it’s healthier for the both of you to factor that into your decision.

      • zucchini64

        633d

        @4byfour i want to let go of him, and move on. everyone tells me that if someone loves me they'll fight for me. and i don't feel like he ever has. i warned him from the start that i was extremely clingy(PTSD and past trauma related) and dependant and he still wanted the relationship. now all the sudden i'm too much to handle, and not worth the fight. i want to move on, but i'm so afraid that he was my only chance at this whole love thing. i'm scared of being alone and feel like this is all i'm worth.

        • chihiro.sen

          633d

          @zucchini64 some people just arent equipped or ready to properly support a partner dealing with trauma or mental illness, thats not your fault. It sounds like you have a good outlook moving forward, i hope things go well for you x

        • 4byfour

          633d

          @zucchini64 being dependent can make someone extremely vulnerable to someone’s flaws or wrong doings. Please know you are worth so much more than his lack of foresight!

        • 4byfour

          633d

          @zucchini64 I’m so sorry if this comes off as out-of-nowhere, but have you ever considered talking to a therapist about this?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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