Struggling to Show Affection

Absolutely agree with the other comment! Everyone has different love languages. The most romanticized and highly expected ones, of course, are showing physical and verbal affections. Much like you, I struggle with hugs (touch aversion and panic at being trapped) and saying affectionate statements out loud. I've found that it's much easier for me to write affectionate things, either via text or in a written form like a letter or sticky note. Not sure why but ya know, whatever works lol. My love languages for sure are acts of service and gift giving. I like doing things for people to show I care. The last girlfriend I had I showered in little notes, gifts, and doodles to show her I loved her. I also found that alternate methods of physical affection were much more tolerable and enjoyable (personal fav being linking arms while walking, very cute and better than hand holding for me sensorily). Even just like,, gently bonking shoulders with your friend is affectionate. The right people will know and appreciate your love languages for what they are, whether it be sending them memes you thought they might like or helping them with a task/errand. There are lots of way to express love and caring, try not to let societal expectations get to you!

It's hard to express things, but I've noticed that I'm genuinely happier when I'm around friends that know my love languages, and for some people it'll just seem like random acts, but genuinely if I hear a song, or read a book, and it reminds me of that person I will send them it, or I will sing it/read it to them, most won't notice the little things when it comes to that, but once you find the ones that notice and understand, it becomes a lot easier because you won't constantly feel like you're doing or expressing the wrong thing