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Im gripping onto things that make me happy while i hang by a thread. I’m so tired of being so tired. I feel guilty and dysfunctional not to mention lonely having thoughts like i just want to disappear. I’m tired of society pushing me into toxic positivity. I actually *don’t* think it’s going to be okay. I think i myself have to work extra hard to be ok. I feel like life keeps happening at me and yet society tells me i have to fix it, while i run out of solutions and energy. I’m so scared i won’t be able yo shake these thoughts of wanting to disappear sometimes. I stay because i know it would hurt my loved ones, and there are things i love in life, but the weight seems to outweigh them eventually. I wish i could just think of myself first and my peace and be at peace. I wish instead of always being there for everyone else, people could be there for me… and instead of telling me it will all be ok and predicting the future that hasn’t come for me in years, i wish they could for once just say they understand and that my feelings are valid. But, alas, another day of feeling down, lonely and misunderstood while i try my best. I fear the day will never come that i’m finally out of this hell hole called depression. End rant
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Bupropion
night sweats
paranoid
Valium
sertraline
palpitations
Anxiety (Including GAD)
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