I would like someone to tell me how to tell if you have a crush. Google isn't helping and neither is my clueless mind. my friend is asking the wrong person for advice lol. (Also the tag is required)

Anxiety (Including GAD)

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  • tiramisu


    It's someone you like more than a friend. But having a crush is typically what school aged kids call it. As an adult you either think someone is attractive internally or externally and have a "crush" on them because of that. I never had a crush on my husband, but I liked his personality and the way he carried himself, that would be considered a crush, but crush is a young way to say you like someone

  • x.Snug_Bean.x


    Ok thank you! My friend found this very helpful! ❤️

  • Lunarr


    Kinda of agree with tiramisu but also I think there's more to it. In my opinion, there are two ways things can go down. Like they said, number one is where you like someone more than an average friend (enjoy spending extra time with them, they make you happy, you find them attractive, you want to be close with them physically/emotionally, etc) and make the conscious decision to pursue them. There's a general feeling of affection and happiness. It's a very mature and solid way to pick a romantic partner because you can really see the compatibility ahead of time and with a clear mind. The second way is what I would more so call a crush, aka infatuation. This is your stereotypical butterflies in the stomach kind of feeling. It's involuntary and can be kind of overwhelming. I once described it to my aromantic friend as having a panic attack but in a good way whenever you think about the person or are near them. Maybe you feel compelled to follow this person around like a lost puppy making heart eyes and touching them as much as possible (in a friendly way and with consent obv). If you have a crush/infatuation, you'll know. It can be very all consuming. The person may be on your mind nearly all the time and you may find yourself talking about them a lot in conversations with others. It's like a minor, hormone induced obsession. Very common in the teen years but can happen to adults too for sure. I'm not saying one is better or superior to the other, I've seen people have success with relationships developed from both ways. The first may even lead to developing similar or less intense feelings to an infatuation as you go down the path to forming a loving relationship. The honeymoon phase, which is the lovey dovey can't-keep-hands-off-each-other beginning section of a new relationship, is the perfect time to develop some butterflies which I don't think are inherently bad. Some people swear by never pursuing someone you get all fluttery for bc it might mean you are just attracted and that the both of you may not be compatiable in the long run. It can be hard to make a solid long-term judgement while infatuated bc you think the other person is perfect and of course it'll work out and then you might learn down the line, when the infatuation has settled, that you clash with your partner majorly in some areas of life. The first way also has potential pitfalls as sometimes those feelings may end up just being platonic and you decide that you'd be better off friends instead (not saying that's a bad thing!) It can feel very good to pursue an infatuation, especially if the object of your affection returns your feelings. I know from personal experience. As long as you're aware of and willing to take that jump into the unknown, I say go for it. But know that not every amazing long term relationship starts with a crush, sometimes it's just two people who get along and like each other and decide to see what happens

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