Finding Humor in Our Shared Malady

I just remembered another which is also my favorite ever omg 😂 so I have trouble with housekeeping so my niece will come over and stay the night or weekend and we'll stay up and clean after the kids are in bed, which means it's hard as heck to wake me up the next day. So one of those sleepovers, we were up especially late and I flat out told her like, I'm not gonna just wake up, you're gonna have to do the most like, slap me in the face if you have to idc. Next morning she tried getting me up, apparently I taught her how to make coffee in my sleep, drank the cup of coffee, asked her to roll me a cig so I could go smoke and taught her how to do that, and still was asleep. She didn't wanna slap me so she sent my kid to do it. Said she heard from the bathroom the LOUDEST slap she's ever heard and was immediately like IS SHE OKAY?! then after a second heard me say in a really nonchalant voice "well that was unnecessary.." and then everyone started laughing. The laughing was what woke me up, I wanted to know what was so funny 😂😂

oh and one time i fell asleep on like the floor of a conference room i was studying in and when i woke up there was an actual conference going on and i had to apologize and explain myself.

I would scream “FUCK YOU!!” in my sleep to my college roommate, it would wake me up but it would take me a minute to realize where i was and then i would apologize- she thought i was yelling at her for being too loud hahaha

I have a tendency to cataplexy during sex, specifically in my eyelids. I've been asked if I was winking, if I was drunk, if I was okay 😂😂 so now I just preface with "btw if my eyes go wonky it just means you're doing a good job" and keep my eyes closed if it's not a sensitive partner. I have a really bad habit of just making demands in my sleep 😂 once sent an ex walking to the gas station to get me food, ate the food while passing back out several times, then eventually conked out for the night. I had no memory of it and asked why he didn't wake me up the next day 😂😂 also once told my daughter to bring me a hairbrush. She said she asked why and I was like just bring it hurry!! In a panic. I only remember waking up with a hairbrush in my hand and her staring at me like I was absolutely insane and I asked what was wrong to which she just blinked, then asked why I had the brush in my hand and she said cause I asked for it 😂😂 I was like oh.. okay well let's brush your hair then. And there was another morning that my alarms were going off and I didn't hear them, so she walked in and yelled mom, and she said I just opened my eyes really slow and made eye contact, said "it dead" and then closed them back 😂😂 which reminds me of a time I woke her up earlier than usual, and she laid there with her eyes closed and said in the most pitiful voice "what time is it? Is my eyes open?" They absolutely were not and I don't know if I've ever related to her more 😂😂😂😂