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4byfour

557d

Am I with the right man? I’m dating someone who treats me right. Communicates respectfully. I can talk to him with any problem we’re having in the relationship. He lets me cry on the phone for however long I need. He’s supportive. He’s sensitive, fun, strong. He never gets angry with me and will mention when something frustrates him. He’s everything I asked for. I chose him because he’s good for me. I get to be myself in a lot of ways. But he doesn’t really understand depression on a deeper level and we both admit it makes us feel helpless and alone. He just doesn’t get the nuances enough to know what to say or do when I’m in a spiral. Originally, the plan was that it would be mine to sort through. My mental health was my business. Why should I depend on a man to fix me? I lived my whole life figuring myself out, working through my own trauma and seeking out professional help. By myself. Why do I need someone else to go to? But when I want to lean on him for support every once in a while I just walk away feeling even worse. On my good days, I’m really grateful for him. But idk where to go when I’m depressed and it makes me question if maybe I’m with the wrong person.

Top reply
    • JingleP

      556d

      I agree it’s pretty impossible to find the exact perfect partner and have them meet all your needs from one person. I think he can learn how to better support you without fully understanding your nuance. If able, you two can work together to find out what you need at certain times. Try to communicate to him “I need” this or that and over time he can get to learn what kind of things are most helpful most often. For example, asking to be left alone for a bit, for him to tell you everything is going to be ok, to just listen and validate, to help you take care of basic needs, etc. even if he doesn’t fully understand, he could still respond in a way that makes you feel supported. For example with my closest friend, I ask her to not ask why when I casually say I feel depressed. Personally I just don’t appreciate that. Since it is hard to do it while you’re spiraling, try reflecting on it afterwards on what you would’ve wanted. It’s hard to understand the nuance of depression without having experienced it, and even so each person is different. It sounds like you mainly feel that he is great for you. I think you guys could work it out! Good luck 💕

    • JingleP

      556d

      I agree it’s pretty impossible to find the exact perfect partner and have them meet all your needs from one person. I think he can learn how to better support you without fully understanding your nuance. If able, you two can work together to find out what you need at certain times. Try to communicate to him “I need” this or that and over time he can get to learn what kind of things are most helpful most often. For example, asking to be left alone for a bit, for him to tell you everything is going to be ok, to just listen and validate, to help you take care of basic needs, etc. even if he doesn’t fully understand, he could still respond in a way that makes you feel supported. For example with my closest friend, I ask her to not ask why when I casually say I feel depressed. Personally I just don’t appreciate that. Since it is hard to do it while you’re spiraling, try reflecting on it afterwards on what you would’ve wanted. It’s hard to understand the nuance of depression without having experienced it, and even so each person is different. It sounds like you mainly feel that he is great for you. I think you guys could work it out! Good luck 💕

    • SundaySmall

      557d

      It’s my profound believe that there is no single “right person” for anyone. In any relationship there will be things that are not exactly how you’d like them. That said, you also don’t have to stay with someone you don’t feel fulfilled by just because they’re essentially perfect on paper. It sounds like you guys have a good thing going, so unless you feel you’d be ultimately better off or happier without him, I don’t think you need to overthink this or make any life-changing decisions right now.

      • 4byfour

        556d

        @SundaySmall thank you. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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