Dealing with Manic Rage in Bipolar Type 1

I'm still working on this myself. Ask yourself if you're breaking your own shit or other peoples shit, both literally and metaphorically. As in do you lash out more at others than yourself. If you lash out at others, your problem may be with taking responsibility over things you feel shame for. If you lash out at yourself, you're trying to control the part of you that led to the shame. It just leads to more shame. If we address the issues that are magnified by our chemical states, those states have less to magnify and those magnified issues won't distract us from the self awareness that we are symptomatic. You can't tend to your wounds and fix a car at the same time. I mean... maybe some can in a literal sense, but those people probably got shot and stranded selling meth. Point is, don't put yourself in a position where you have to tend to your wounds while also putting your life back together. Be wounded and fixing it, not a bull in a china shop getting more wounded by the broken glass.

My first step was awareness. Awareness of whether the anger I had was legit or just frustration which lead to awareness of when I was reacting more chemically than emotionally. Started looking for triggers as well as what relieves them. Recently I have come to learn how to communicate to others when I am not in control anymore if I can’t relieve the triggers. It’s been an extremely hard journey but I’ve learned with hard work that I can diffuse before getting too far. I walk away, ask to pause until I calm down, walk away… walk away… you can always come back and continue under level head but you can’t take things back once they’re done. The rage bursts… those I am still learning to control but it’s extremely hard especially when it’s over the littlest things. I can be completely calm and have a tiny thing happen and just burst for a sec until pressure is released and then back to calm. It’s a stress thing I think.. routine in my most common environments help when the outside world is unpredictable and stress me out. Every day we grow! You got this.