Ena_Silvoc

159d

I just wanted to rant a little. If you have something you want to share relating to my experience, feel free I just wanted to get this off my chest. Yesterday was the worst low I've had in years and I felt so invalidated by a couple close friends who don't fully know what's been going on. Yesterday a friend came over to hang out with my husband and I, but my social battery has been so low I've had to isolate myself more frequently. I was crying alone away from them and my friend came over to me to say he was leaving and I covered my head in a blanket so he wouldn't see me crying. His response was asking "why do you hate me.." I told him I didn't and he left to go home. I apologized later and he seemed understanding but that's not the first time that's happened. Also, my best friend was feeling sick yesterday and I told her I wasn't wanting to come take care of her just to get sick myself because I know if I got sick, being confined to a bed to my own thoughts would just make my mental health worse. She also has depression and responded in a way that made me seem like the bad guy, like I don't care at all.. and I understand that's really common with depression, but I don't feel like I can sacrifice my mental health for hers when she's receiving treatment and I'm not yet (my husband agreed to help accommodate me and make phone calls on my behalf to set up an appointment). I don't know whether to give her space or apologize. I just feel like everyone around me is upset or mad with me minus my online friends and my husband. Everything just feels like my fault even though I can't help that I have mental disorders. Anyways.. Rant over. Sorry it's so long.

Depression

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  • Terp

    159d

    Hey, been there. Done that. Havent made the T-shirt yet but want to one day. Sending hugs!🤗

  • Seath

    158d

    I really relate to not wanting someone to see me cry. I think it was socialised in me to consider crying a weakness so it's been hard to undo that early training. Also, get where you are in terms of friends not getting it, I haven't had another depressed friend but I've lost a few who can't understand that my social battery needs a long time to recharge, and that can be up to a month. It makes it hard for anyone to stay connected. But your mental health is most important, I would say take care of you, and hopefully your friend will come around.

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