How to Get Closure After a Painful Breakup

I feel you. I was with my partner for 7 years, married for 3 of them. First she told me she professed her love for her best friend and looked for me to comfort her when he rejected her. Then she said she didn't like me on my meds but that she wouldn't ask me to come off them. Saying I wasn't able to give her attention (bc I was focusing on my mental and physical health having a failing gallbladder) and I apparently loved the dogs more than her. Always sounded like an excuse. It's been about 4 years since we stopped talking after having a good friendship. She accused me of setting up a credit card in her name, which I absolutely did not (she opened it and forgot about it). Point is. It was a great love story. Ya know. Write and perform a (slam) poem about a girl she had seen around. I'm sitting in front of her at the slam. Then I find out it was me. I was desperately in love. Heck, I am still so in love. I miss her every day. I can't stop thinking about her still. Every love song happy or sad reminds me of her. I'm happy for the most part in my life (a lot has changed in these years) but my life still feels empty without her. I don't know the honest truth about what actually happened since there were a lot of half-truths being thrown around. I often question if her feelings for me were real. And they probably were. I never got closure. But their absence makes you question your whole self. Honestly, You may not get the closure you are thinking of or want. But don't let yourself question what you had. It may have been temporary but it was very real. You are deserving of that love. And you will find someone who loves every part of you. I think my point got smushed at some point. I'm sorry. I guess this long boring story just to say, I get where you're coming from, you are not alone. Love is the best feeling and also the worst feeling. Hang in there ❤️

You don’t just “ get over it”. It’s lots of little decisions all day long day after day that will get you there. The decision not to call or text. The decision to do something positive with your time. The decision to replace unhealthy thoughts with more positive one. Failing trying again. Day after day till it gets easier.

1. This is about them not you, they lied, they weren’t good enough for you because obviously they cant meet your support needs which is very VALID! 2. sometimes we wont get closure from people who arent emotionally intelligent enough to give it or even understand consequences to their actions/words 3. and you wont get over it untill you just will. dont let anyone tell you when to get over this. llet yourself heal, be sad, accept, and eventually move on with what you were left with. 4. you will have someone better. Make sure to have someone better next time you are ready to date. Raise your standards. stick to them. Never lower them. 5. I wish you well, i have been through what you’ve been through too and i’ve made it and am with someone so much more amazing. You will make it far far too! ❤️

I understand this. My boyfriend just left me after he told me repeatedly that he would never leave. He said I was all he ever wanted. Then he started changing and becoming distant. He said he could sense that I wasn't happy with how he was acting lately and maybe it's just best that we take time apart. He moved out, broke up with me in a message, deleted me and all my friends and family, and has not responded to any messages since the day after he left. I wanted that closure so bad and got so angry that he couldn't even give me that after all we had been through. But everyone I talk to tells me that it is not my fault. He was the one who changed. It was his decision to leave and the way he is treating me is a reflection of the way he feels about himself lately. That could be exactly what you are going through. If they left without giving you any explanation and any closure, then that is cowardly and they weren't strong enough to deal with their own problems, let alone the way you were feeling. You need someone who will be strong enough to work through things together and keep their promises. I know it hurts to think about because I am there too, but they are not your "person" like they promised to be. You will find your person one day.

I honestly completely understand what you're going through except I have no confirmation he left me for someone with worse mental problems and we never officially dated due to distance. Him pulling back romantically hurt but was understandable due to his reasons. Him pulling back as a friend despite telling me he saw how hard I worked to get better and then finding someone to date immediately after ending our friendship is what I'm still trying to heal from, and it's been a long journey for me. I can't answer your question as to why your person did that to you, and as someone who got the final talk and still feels they never got a straight answer, you may never understand. But it's okay to process what happened and need time to heal even if it takes more than a few weeks or months or even if it takes over a year. Sometimes the loss of a friend hurts more than of a romantic partner because there was a level of trust there in a way not all romances have but all friendships should. If you ever need someone to talk to, let me know and I'll do my best to respond in a timely manner. You aren't alone.

I am in a similar situation. It was a friend break up. We were best friends for years yet apparently I said something that I can not remember and she won’t tell me what I said or did.