I get so stressed out when my boyfriend doesn't respond to me. It makes me spiral and I can't figure out why. it happens with anyone I get attached to/past partners. I feel crazy and that every single time he doesn't respond I lose it and it spirals into me wanting to hurt myself. Past relationships/situatuonships where there were gaps in conversation it was either they were doing things behind my back/ or cheating on me. The past 2 big "relationships" of my life were with abusive people. They convinced me to cut off all of my friends because they were horrible influences and I did. My boyfriend now is nothing like that; the best type. He doesn't control me and I am very happy. I get freaked out though when I can't speak to him. He tells me he needs his alone time and it stresses me out. Any thoughts on why?

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

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  • JoeBarker


    Express the need for reassurance. I'm sure your significant other would want to do anything in their power to prevent you from hurting yourself so ask for help. Tell them how you feel when they don't respond and try to work out a compromise between their alonr time and time spent together.

  • Goopy


    Thank you 🤗

  • roadhog


    I feel the same way. I know it’s extremely hard to cope with, especially after really unhealthy relationships. But your partner loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you. Asking for reassurance can be really helpful, or just using affirmations over and over to remind yourself of those facts. <3

  • Ashiana


    You could try talking to other people if you reassuring but are having trouble telling it to yourself and sometimes you just need company so your not in your own head

  • GirlBob


    I have this issue with my partner. I have just made it clear that I would appreciate it if they gave me some sort of response/confirmation that they heard me. Sometimes they don't listen very well 😅

  • Gingeralamode


    This is a common symptom shared by PTSD and BPD. So I deal with it often. My partner has helped me build patience with this by telling me what they were doing, no matter how trivial the task is. It helps me be like "they're not wanting to leave me, they're probably watching a movie." And during urgent moments where I feel I need them but they aren't there, I simply remember what they have done for me.

  • Chloe.DP


    I totally understand and relate to this. I would say the best thing you could do is be honest with your partner about how you’re feeling. He could provide you with more reassurance, which may help. If you explain how upsetting it is when he doesn’t respond to you, I’m sure he won’t mind. My boyfriend gets an “are you mad at me?” text at least once a day 😂

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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