Romeo

30d

so, on the first of nov (it's currently the fifth) my friend randomly put me in a headlock and practically slammed me onto the ground (for a reason i do not know). while landing, i rolled my ankle. i didn't think it was bad but on the third i went to the doctor and now i'm in a boot. yesterday (the fourth), i went to school and i lied about how i got it to my friend. i told her i got it while messing with my brother. i don't think it was right of me to lie but 1) i didn't want her to feel guilty and 2) i didn't want her to know, not just because i didn't want her to feel guilty but because i'm scared of people who know they can hurt me because them they might use that against me. however, at the lunch table i told her kind of as a joke after she said no to getting something for me. i'm not quite sure what she said but i think it was probably something like "so what?" my other friend pointed out that she literally was the reason why i was in a boot and she said "i don't give a fuck". i think maybe she said it as a joke or something but it didn't really sound like one. so then someone told her that she's a bad friend and she just agreed. and it's like, she's said that so many times before and now it's just like she's taking advantage of me. like, am i not a good enough friend for her to try to be a good friend? not to mention, i lied to my parents and the doctor about what happened to my foot to protect her. and i want to apologize for lying to her because that was wrong of me but i think she genuinely just does not care.

and to elaborate on why i lied; i've been taken advantage of before by someone who knew that i was powerless against them. they rubbed it in my face that i was physically incapable of stopping them. so i always act like i'm tough shit because i don't want people to think that i'm weak. i didn't want her to know because she might've used that against me. and i didn't want to act like that was something she would do but i can't help the fact that i'm genuinely scared of her now.

also i didn't mean for it to come out like i was trying to guilt her into doing something. i had already told my other friends and when she said no they were like "tell her now" and i guess i just didn't think. i think i really shouldn't have told her.

anyways, do you guys have any advice? (sorry for the length)

Anxiety (Including GAD)

Generalized pain

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  • Crowsasgods

    30d

    Okay this person doesn't sound like a friend. They sound actively harmful and honestly quite shitty. Friendships can be abusive and I think you may have found yourself friends with an abuser. It doesn't matter if you're friends with someone or not that kind of behavior is abusive both emotionally and physically. I would honestly suggest cutting off the friendship entirely. It sounds like that is a decision you would be unlikey to make judging by how you think you are some how at fault or deserving of this treatment but please consider finding friends who aren't openly abusing you.

    • Romeo

      30d

      i guess you're probably right. one of my other friends also suggested just cutting her off and it's definitely one of the options i'm mulling over. i was planning on seeing what happens on monday (i'm still in highschool) and if she at least apologizes but i'm not sure if she will. thanks for your input, i really appreciate.

  • j_Bug

    30d

    there's a lot going on here but one aspect that I wanna respond to- this person being a bad friend is Not because you're a bad friend. there may be some truth to that if it was a friend being distant or not super engaged with you, but this is so far from that.

    • Romeo

      30d

      thank you. while i know how much effort i put into being her friend without much in return, sometimes it's hard to believe nothing was your fault.

  • chihiro.sen

    30d

    i would not invest anymore time or energy into this person. Especially if you have other friends that are suggesting this, it seems like a pretty good idea. They're clearly not putting any care into their relationship with you, so you shouldn't feel obligated to do the same. you dont even have to treat it as an active thing (like actively cutting her off) just stop wasting your energy on her and direct it to the friends that are supporting u right now.

  • MorganVL

    30d

    Please tell the doctor and your parents what really happened and tell them what she had replied with when told she's a bad friend and that she's the reason you're in a boot after she put u in a headlock for some unknown reason probably for no reason at all she doesn't GAF about anybody or anything apparently so please tell the adults the truth on what happened so disciplinary actions can be taken against her she sounds like she's a horrible friend to everybody and uses people and drives people away by being an absolute maniac so just please tell adults right now asap

  • MorganVL

    30d

    And she's an abuser so telling the adults now and having your real friends back you up and if any camera footage can be found if it was done somewhere with cameras around so the adults can take action against her since she's an abuser she will continue to become worse and will start being even more physical and lash out and laugh at people's pain and she will use people for her own enjoyment and benefit so tell all the adults so she can have action taken against her

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