That's a tough one as someone who has family that make disappointing decisions all one can do is enforce boundaries while accepting the situation as it is so as not to poison oneself. That being said sometimes arms length can be seen as cold in the long run for the person struggling. Personal harm versus harm being directed towards you equates to how much suffering is one willing to take on. Are they earnest in wanting to improve? Tough love only goes so far as acceptance and compromise can get sullied in the mix.