Can't Seem to Post Anything

I wanna hate him cause well I've put some things about it on here already. But the thing is I still find myself wanting to be lovey dovey with him sometimes although I won't allow myself. I mean how can I when I feel like I'm not what he wants and have felt that way for a long time. How can any woman wanna kiss or love on someone that is supposed to be hers when he doesn't make her feel like he is. He keeps saying he's coming home for good soon but a month will go by then he'll say that he's coming home for good soon again and so on and so on. Help! idk what to do