Reconnecting with Estranged Parents: A Traumatic Experience

oh god, i completely understand. before you do anything else i’d make sure you’re in a place where you feel at least somewhat safe. i know when ppl you’d rather forget reach out to you, all of those terrible memories resurface, but all they are is memories. you got through it and you fight every day to have a better life, one separate from the trauma they put you through. you do not have to go see your father; you don’t owe him anything. if you want to, go with your husband and make sure you have a plan to leave if you start to feel uncomfortable/unsafe. you are so strong and you got through it and will get through this. i relate all too well to your situation, and i hope that, whatever you decide, you come out of it feeling safe and happy. again, you don’t owe anyone anything. i don’t want this to sound canned or empty, sort of like a “just drink water” thing, but the best advice i can offer is having a plan in place for whatever you decide that ensures your safety and makes you feel, if not happy, content or comfortable. i hope this all works out for the two of you, and if there’s anything i can do/advice i can offer, or just someone to talk to, lmk :)