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BevBug

574d

People have high expectations of me while I have no expectations of anyone. I can drop everything to take care of someone else, but I will never expect the same courtesy because nobody has ever given that to me. I will pour from my empty glass to a point where I will give blood and people won't even take off their lids to give me a drop. And why should I get the same courtesy? I've never gotten it before. Why start now?

    • Doggy

      574d

      You should ONLY be holding yourself to your OWN standards. Just like other people should only be holding themselves to their own standards. And if you're not good enough for them, forget them. And if they're not good enough for you, forget them in that case too. Don't do more than you have the ability to do, no matter who's asking, and always ask others for what you need, even if they don't give it.

    • Schiele

      574d

      Amen to that, I’ve met a kajillion more people who will gladly thrive off of my attention when they have to vent but then never seem to be around when I want to talk. It sorta made it so I don’t know how to approach bringing up my own problems in conversation with most people which in turn makes me subconsciously resent them for not being as receptive to my problems as I am theirs. Part of it is recognizing that some people just genuinely don’t want to put in the effort to turn a dump session into a two-way friendship, but another part is recognizing when you’ve gone so long without trusting anyone to support you that you’re not giving people the chance to prove to you that they want to be a part of your support system. I got super lucky and landed three friends who I’m extremely close to and they’re all extremely approachable and receptive when I need them, but it took me twenty or so years to get to that point. One of those three friends was in a similar situation as me and it wasn’t until we were crammed into a dorm room together and we both saw each other breakdown so we both started uplifting each other, and one of those friends I wouldn’t be as close to if it weren’t for a mutual friend who is just an extremely rare case of “genuinely nice person who is really good at making people want to be vulnerable around.” My point is, maybe you’ll get extremely lucky and end up in the right place at the right time or find a miracle friend, but I never really gave anyone before these friends a real chance since I assumed everyone else would wave me off because that was all I experienced up until then. It is incredibly hard to realize someone needs to vent or needs help without that person explicitly saying “please help.” Legit, if it weren’t for a two way double breakdown from overexertion without any emotional support, I wouldn’t have one of my closest friends today because we are both people who don’t pry unless someone approaches us first and just assumed that the other didn’t want to help because why would a stranger want to be emotionally available when “best friends” of the past didn’t do squat? I don’t know your situation, and let’s be real I’m typing way too much in response to a vent post, but maybe you’re either not giving the people around you a chance or you’re friends with people who don’t deserve your support. Either and/or both are possible. People are complex and you don’t know them unless you try to know them. All I know is empathy sucks and helping everyone because you feel expected to isn’t the solution because it just makes ya bitter. I have to keep kicking myself every time I say my newer friends aren’t real friends because I’m the one too stubborn to open up to them

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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