I'm raising my pedo rapists child, A. A is now a teenager and has multiple issues including ASD, psychosis(potentially schizophrenia), Mild Intellectual Disorder, etc. While I have battled with Chronic Depression, GAD, PTSD, late diagnosed ADHD, chronic pain, etc along with losing my kid's father to his own mental health issues. This year has been the worst, most draining time in my life. I've been to therapy, both Partial Hospitalization Program and Intensive Outpatient Therapy, and an all trying to recover and heal. ( I found out about my kid's father 3 days after I graduated the program. )I've made so much improvement and we were... are? healing, but I feel like I'm slipping back and can't handle this anymore. Things would have been so much different without A. Still could be, easier. Am I that much of a monster for not having a connection with A? I almost resent A at this point, especially the older they get, due to the sheer neediness, effort, time, STRESS, etc to continue to parent them. A seems to have a Peter Pan complex, though not a psychologically valid thing, but I greatly effects the other, YOUNGER kids that have their own issues and disorders.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Anxiety (Including GAD)
Diabetes Type 2 (T2D)
All I can say is you are incredible for all that you are doing. I can't imagine what you're going through. Do you have a support system/family/friends to help care for your kids so you get a break from time to time?
within the past year my mother has started taking A for extended breaks; fall break, summer break, extended weekends for holidays, etc. However, A has come back to me overweight and now has multiple symptoms of diabetes (which my mom has.) A is allowed to do whatever, because they aren't being parented.
My support system does what they can but is too much. I'm single and work full time from home, so I still have my other younger children to care for, who are also special needs. I don't get any assistance as I make too much, so child care is out. I'm connected to several places and departments in my State/County for any programs and funds available for us but with my work schedule I can't utilize a lot of the programs as they're during work hours.
Even when I'm supposed to be recovering from a major surgery, I'm still in charge of all of this. I had to get off of my pain management medication post surgery so I could still drive to get the kids to their doc appts.
I never understood the 'if you have 5 mins' thing for self care because when I finally get time, my executive dysfunction kicks in. I can't even get time to go to the bathroom by myself.
Hey there... I'd like to think there are services available for the both of you. A could use a mentor... Someone in the community who fully understands the situation. This could lighten up a great deal of weight from your shoulders and lead A down many better tomorrows. I'm sure there will be plenty of hurdles, but I'm hopeful for you and yours that a new normal is just around the bend. Ya just gotta figure out what that one thing is to tweak in your circumstances to create that better future. Good luck to y'all.
I appreciate this. A has had a team around them for years, but nothing has gotten better. In fact, it all seems to have worsened. A is just as manipulative as always. I have all of my papers in order in case something happens because I swear one night they are gonna kill everyone in the house so it can be just me and them. A lies to those in the programs who are supposed to help, putting on acts, so they don't get the real help they need.
what about an RBT?
video some of the behaviors and show to team I would do a few it will make A be held accountable
I would imagine that raising your rapists' child would come with a lot of trauma. Have you worked with a therapist about these problems?
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